Evil Twins

I’ve got some plants growing in the garden that I am pretty sure are tomatoes.   I think they are because I grew tomatoes there last year and I left fruit behind.  Plus they look like tomato seedlings.  Still, I yanked them out.  But that’s because I’m growing spinach in that bed this year.  I spared a few of the hardier ones and potted them.  If they turn out to be the real thing, I’ve got extras.  But I’m still wary.

I’ve been burned by look-a-likes before.  Years ago I planted June-bearing strawberries next to Ever-bearing ones.  Turned out the Ever-bearing strawberries were Barren strawberries, a wild plant that grows here in Michigan.Image

 

http://www.annarbor.com/home-garden/barren-strawberry—an-unforgiving-name-for-a-nice-native-plant/

 

 

It took me two years to root them all out and there are still more growing in a field behind the house.  It is the evil twin of the sweet strawberry that experienced gardeners recognize immediately and weed out.

And that got me to thinking about the problem of the evil twin/look-a-like in literature.  Fooling a novice or a stranger that a character is who they pretend to be is fine.  But, fooling a spouse of loved one is just plain stupid.

Many years ago I led a youth group at my church that met in a cavernous room on an upper floor.  Nearly every one of the girls in the group could tell who was walking up the stairs by the sound off their footsteps and they got it right every time.  Even if it was a group of kids coming up, they could discern each pattern in seconds and call them out by name.

Identifying a person by just the sounds of their steps on a set of stairs was beyond my sensory perception, but not by your average fourteen year-old girl.  I could. however identify a co-worker from half a mile away, in the dark, by the way they guided in an aircraft (I work at an airport by-the-way).   It manner in witch the lighted-wands moved was ad individual as fingerprints.

This is why I can’t stand TV shows, movies or books that show a husband totally fooled by a look-a-like.  It doesn’t work in the real world, it shouldn’t work in fiction.  

As writers we need to weed out the tired memes that wouldn’t fool a fourteen year-old.  We need to kill off the evil twins.

Unknowable Trends and Weird Patterns

 

 

Anyone who has tended a garden the past few years or stuck their head outside this past winter knows that the weather has gone crazy. The unpredictable patterns of weather can wreak havoc on fruit trees and ground crops. A few warm weeks that get the blossoms going with a promise of a bumper crop can be dashed with one late frost. Fortunately, we dodged that bullet here in Michigan, I can expect cherries and apples on my trees for the first time in three years.

Gardening can be a hit or miss thing when it comes to unpredictable weather. Late frosts, wet springs that promote mold and fungus, dry summers, blistering hot days that drag on and shrivel everything in sight, are just a few things to worry about. We still carry on and hope for the best only sure of one thing, nothing is certain.

Writing trends are no different. The teenage vampire love story is dead and now love triangles are being strangled to death. Authors who have been working on such stories have a hard time at publication. The trends are shifting. The independent heroine is spiking. Give a girl a bow and arrow and have her save herself and you’ve got a hit. Problem is, it won’t be the trend three years from now.

Writing to the market is like planning a garden three years out. There is no way to tell if a soil fungus will prevent you from ever growing tomatoes again or not. No way to tell if YA dystopias will be over in 2017 and everyone is on the Urban Fantasy bandwagon.

They say, never write to the market, write what you love. But what if you love Western Adventures or Vampire love triangles? Sometimes you have to look at the trends that are actually selling and write accordingly. Sometimes you have to give up on growing bananas in Chicago and settle on blackberries.

You don’t have to copy the trends, maybe make your vampire a cowboy, and maybe freeze those blackberries for a smoothie. Sure you can write what you love, but don’t ignore the trends. Make those trends work for you.

 

Challenges

Challenges

I started gardening because I refused to pay more than a dollar for a tomato. Cost played a lot into my decision. Since that first year I have spent way more than I have saved. This year is going to be different. This year I’m going to challenge myself and try to grow everything without spending a cent.

I’ve got seeds galore, and I harvested seeds from last year. Got a worm farm making castings all winter long and two compost heaps to amend the soil. Still got organic pesticides and antifungal sprays left over but I’m using companion planting to keep from using that stuff too much.

The real secret to low-cost gardening is to make it productive for my tastes. I can’t have too much salsa or spaghetti sauce that means growing plenty of tomatoes, onions and peppers. I can only eat so many pickles, so I’m cutting back on the cucumbers this year. By growing only the things that I really like and is easy to store, I can make the garden work for me rather than work for it. Sure, it’s good to know that I can grow muskmelons and peanuts, but I’m not all that crazy over them.

So that’s the gardening challenge. For writing I need to do something along the same lines.

I’ve been sitting on some stories for a while now. I got a few rejections and that stopped me from sending them back out as well as not sending out newer stories. So in order to get over that, I’m going to submit one story a day for the month of June. I’ll keep you all updated on the progress and link any of the accepted stories.

It’s important to set goals. Daily word counts are as important as spraying fruit trees before they blossom. But unless we also set challenges, push ourselves into doing tough and uncomfortable things we may never grow as writers or gardeners. There was a time I couldn’t stand editing a story. I wanted everyone to love the first draft. That was foolish. Editing is as important as weeding. Now I can’t post a thing unless I edit it a few times.

We learn by experience, we grow through difficulty and we get stronger from challenges.

 

Kahn!

Just got back from my first Star Trek con and had a blast. My wife and I decided to go to the Tampa Away Mission for out 12-year anniversary (yes she is a Trekkie too). We decided to splurge and get the ‘Platinum’ package and it was worth it. Not because we got photo opts and autographs that more than made up for the higher price. Not because we had great seats up front and didn’t have to wait in line for anything. No, the thing that made it worthwhile was getting to hang out with some of the celebs at a mixer.

 
While I was smoozing with John Delancie (Q from Star Trek TNG and Voyager), my wife was flirting with Kevin Sorbo (Hercules and Cpt. Dillon Hunt from Andromeda). We also had drinks with Saul Rubinek and Eddie McClintock from Warehouse 13 and I had a long conversation with Sasha Jackson (Blue Crush 2) she’s hilarious and really nice.

 
Most of the celebs were very nice, open and approachable for the most part, I found that surprising. Kevin Sorbo is funny and engaging. I talked to Delancie about Italian opera and he showed me pictures on his phone of his production of Tosca and Madame Butterfly. I nearly had a fangasm.

 
I attended a few panel discussions held with some writers. None that I knew about, they all appeared to be self-pub authors – nothing wrong with that. But their discussions didn’t go that in-depth or get into the nitty-gritty or writing.
The brightest part of the weekend wasn’t the Skyping with Leonard Nimoy or sitting within spitting distance of William Shatner as he goofed on staged and wowed the crowd.

 

No, the best part was meeting a couple from Tampa who shared our love of all things SciFi and geeky. During the con we hung out together and afterwards had a great dinner at a local restaurant they suggested. Many thanks to Mike and Deeanna for making our trip fun, relaxing and memorable.   They made the con priceless.

 
Cons can be great events for fans and writers just as they can be huge wastes of time and money. But then, writing itself can be a huge waste of time and money the same way gardening can. It all comes down to what you get out of it.
Sure, can sell my autographs online and make a few bucks the same way I can sell a story or blackberry jam for a few dollars. What I can’t sell are memories.

 
If you haven’t been to a convention, get to one. You won’t regret it.

Jumping the Gun

 

Every year I do this. The moment I step outside on a decent spring day, I begin to work in the yard.

“This year it’ll be different.” I say. “I can get a jump on the planting season and be harvesting tomatoes by the Fourth of July.”

That’s when I start cleaning up the old beds and get the seedlings started inside. Sure, it still snows every once in a while, and the car windows are coated in frost every morning. But I got a plan!

And every year my first set of seedlings grow leggy and die. Anything planted early outside also bites the dust. Eventually, I wait until Memorial Day to go to the Farmers Market and buy a few dozen plants. It doesn’t matter that by buying those plants I’m still jumping the gun because by the end of the season the plants I grow from seed are as big and productive as the ones I bought.

I could wait the whole month of April and most of May to get started. I’d probably have more energy to get through the season if I didn’t burn out by starting two months sooner. But I know myself too well. Cabin Fever drives me to act against my better judgment.

I will jump the gun.

I will plant and kill again.

I can’t help it.

I’m a gardener.

Just like I can’t help but to send my stories to publications I know will reject me. I see an ‘Open for Submissions’ link and I can’t help myself. I have to send my Steampunk Horror story to a mag that publishes nothing but Lesbian Romance. Oh, and that Literary zine that focuses on 18th Century Naval battles wouldn’t mind reading my Dystopian YA Epic. They are just asking for it, you know.

Yeah, I could look over their website, read the stories they publish, but who has the time? Submissions close at the end of the month, I can’t spare an hour to get to know what they like. And don’t get me started on what kind of format they want submissions to come in. The crybabies.

But then, when the right story goes to the right publisher my chances of success goes way up. I even get published in a print publication. If only I could remember this the next time I finish a story and try to plant it in the first open spot I see. Writing Fever drives me to act against my better judgment.

I will jump the gun.

I will submit and get rejected again.

I can’t help it.

I’m a writer.

 

Going Dormant

A garden in November is a sad sight.  Nearly everything in the beds are dead or dying.  A few green tomatoes hang from fallen plants, forgotten and abandoned.   Weeds take their chance at getting a foothold as if they know the no one is coming after them.  A few marigolds keep a splash of color in an otherwise brown and gray landscape.  The kale is still doing good, they can keep growing past the first snowfall and the garlic is just getting started.

Any semblance of order and care is gone.  The human touch has been removed and nature is left to her own devices.

The same thing happens on thousands of writing boards in November.  A vast migration of writers abandon their typing grounds for the fields of NaNoWriMo.  Alpha readers, crit groups, prompt boards are denuded of talented wordsmiths who flock to the NaNo boards in a frenzy of plotting propagation.  They leave behind those scribblers who are either too old (those who still use an IBM Selectric) or too weak (ones still on dial-up) to make the arduous passage.

But then there are also a few who choose to stay behind, to keep the boards from going dark in the weeks and months to come.  These caretaker writers are the garlic and onions of the literary world.  Usually, bitter key-peckers who can’t produce the necessary word count to attempt the NaNo and disparage those who do.  They log in to the old boards to find no new posts day after day, anxiously awaiting the first day of December only to find the Nano-ers languishing in a post-novel state.  The poor hacks stay holed up in filthy dens or overpriced coffee shops, determined to edit their nightmare of a MS for the next six weeks before returning to a silent board and the pity of those they left behind.

Okay, so I don’t like this time of year.  I’ve got too much work cleaning up the garden with no immediate gain from it and my writing group dries up to a couple of sad novelist whose criticisms of our WIP’s (works in progress) is too little too sustain us until the others return.  By then we are too far ahead for them to catch up on but could you be a dear and do a line edit of my NaNo?

 A writing board is a sad sight in November.  It makes me yearn for the spring when novels emerge like flash fiction in a reading fee-less contest.  Until then I suppose I’ll have to get use to things going dormant.    

Homemade Salsa

Anyone who makes their own salsa knows how good it is compared to what they can buy at the market.  Some people love cilantro in theirs, or a little more vinegar to give it that ‘bite’.  I make my salsa with red onions, fresh jalapenos and habanero peppers that I dried out last year.  I can’t buy that kind of salsa in the store, they don’t make it like I do. 

There’s a lot that the market cannot provide for you that you can do for yourself.  No gardener ever looked at her flawless Roma tomatoes and said “I’d rather use the Romas from Walmart.”  Once a gardener knows what they are doing, nothing ‘out there’ can compare to what you can produce on your own.

I got into writing because I knew I could tell stories as good as those writers ‘out there’.  Unfortunately, writing entails more than just having a good imagination.  You have to learn the rules and master the craft.  But once you do, once you really know what you are doing, your stories have to be as good as or better than the current market.   

Good writers don’t just copy what they see on the bookshelves any more than good cooks copy what they can buy on the grocery shelves.  Our stories have to be better than the stories we see played out on TV (okay maybe not Game of Thrones but you get the idea).  We have to be excited about our projects and can’t wait to get back into that world to see what happens next. 

If we as the creators are not excited about our work why should the readers be?  If we would rather watch the next episode of Revenge than work on our novel, why would anyone want to read it? 

New writers are exempt from this.  They have to suck for a while before they can get better.  But for the rest of us, those scribblers who have a couple novels in the bottom of a desk or lost on a floppy disk somewhere, we have to make sure our current work is as good as our homemade salsa.